Identity lost: Uncovering suburbia’s dirty secret

Christopher Christensen

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Around the United States, young men and women are dressing, acting, and mimicking either celebrities or pop culture stereotypes to the point where they have truly forgotten who they are, and have become something that they are entirely not.

Barely surviving with his own individuality, one man was brave enough to venture deep into the heart of suburbia to truly investigate the Identity Lost Complex, or ILC for short.

We all see them, young Caucasian females, constantly saying “that’s hot,” strolling around with their teacup Chihuahua dog carriers and “blingin’ out” their sidekicks.

Or young Caucasian males, dressing in G-Unit clothes and using the N word around their Caucasian friends in excess. But whenever there’s someone of African American descent within a hundred yards they start speaking like a college professor.

These young men and women are found in middle to upper class neighborhoods, any expensive mall, and have even been spotted in private schools around the country.

ILC symptoms are easy enough to spot among these individuals. Early signs are typically defined as “posing”. If your friend or friends are beginning to refer to their boyfriends as “A. Smith” or “J. Doe” this is a definite sign of posing and possibly ILC.

Do you have a friend that has started saying he wants to “pimp his ride” or “Bling out his wardrobe?” Does he live in a typical middle to upper class area with both parents, a double car garage, and his Dad has stock options through his company? This would be a definite match for ILC.

The cause for such identity confusion occur because of varied influences. From mass media to pop culture, mainstream music to videogame influences there are many reasons as to why a person would become slowly changed into a “poser” or what I refer to as the earliest and most dangerous state of the Identity Lost Complex.

Posing seems harmless enough in the early stages, but left untreated the long lasting effects can be devastating. Symptoms are easy enough to spot, individuals will start using words and phrases either reserved to social elites, celebrities, or ethnic groups that him or her do not represent.

They will start researching the celebrity or group in large quantities. Gaining most of their “so called” knowledge about them either through publications such as “People” or “XXL”.

If they start saying “If I was Britney I would have dropped K-Fed a long time ago,” or “Man, if we were in my hood I would have smoked that whitey for cutting me off on the freeway,” this is a definite sign of ILC.

The effects of long term ILC can result in an eventual passing of all individuality and character. In addition there’s a possibility for losing all friends and family, getting your @$$ kicked, and even possibility of death depending on where the carrier presents himself.

Now that I have established the severity of Identity Lost Complex your probably wondering how you can prevent or reverse this process. First remove all articles influencing ILC: magazines, music, jewelry, clothing, pictures, posters, etc. These are all major contributors to ILC.

Then show the carrier pictures before ILC was contracted. These pictures should be shown from most recent with a progression slowly into baby pictures. Especially emphasize pictures from tennis camps, Boy Scout meetings, and bar mitzvah’s. Post drawings and old elementary school work.

When the symptoms have lessened dramatically take the carrier out to work on a wardrobe that reflects nothing associated with the ILC. Without constant influence ILC will eventually go away and the individual you once cared about will return to normal.

Remember that individual might claim that ILC is the expression of their individuality. Explain to them that they were a unique individual until the progression of ILC, and that in their current state they have become a stereotype and extremely clich

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