1) You’re pretty sure that wasn’t fish in your fish taco.
2) Severed heads on top of trashcans don’t exactly scream, “Come on in!”
3) That mariachi band from last time is STILL following you around.
4) Rape whistles are no longer effective.
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5) Your windshield is already really clean.
6) Why drink a bunch of $1 Coronas when you can get equally sick from drinking the water?
7) Sweet nothings being whispered into your ear by a sweaty Latino just isn’t what it used to be. Plus, you never understood what the hell they were saying to begin with.
8) Four words: “Guilty until proven innocent.”
9) Clubs filled with dish soap bubbles have lost their charm.
10) You’re pretty sure that wasn’t salt around the rim of your glass that one time.