1. Your telescope broke.
2. She doesn’t like the smell of chloroform.
3. See “The Crying Game.”
4. She likes Coldplay
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5. Getting stabbed hurts.
6. UPS lost her.
7. You always argue about your Crocs being sweeter than her UGGS.
8. Two words: restraining order.
9. You couldn’t afford to foot the bills for her nursing home anymore.
10. You’re a Montague and she’s a Capulet.