It’s been said that every story worth telling has already been told. It seems that studios and directors alike are taking this maxim quite literally with the proliferation of remakes, sequels and reboots attacking film-goers nostalgia and ravaging their wallets over the last few years.

The recent release of Rob Zombie’s “Halloween II” marks the 73, 296 (citation needed) remake or sequel to be released in the last five years. Ironically enough, Zombie was originally asked to direct the “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” remake and this is what he had to say; “I feel it’s the worst thing any filmmaker can do. Those movies are perfect – you’re only going to make yourself look like an (expletive deleted) by remaking them. Go remake something that’s a piece of (expletive deleted) and make it good.I wouldn’t dare want to “remake” it.”

My sentiments exactly. Its funny Mr. Zombie (is that what he signs his checks as?) should say that, as cinemaphiles, and particularly horror lovers alike feel this exact same way. The only difference is that they don’t turn around and remake a beloved horror movie when the price is right.

It worked for “The Fly,” “Cape Fear,” “Scarface” and “The Thing,” so why wouldn’t a remake work for seminal horror movies? Because American horror movies of the last ten years are little more than an excuse to eat a tub of popcorn and drink a bathtub full of soda. A solid hour and a half to turn your brain off and not think about how to solve the conflict in Iraq.I’m kidding, of course. What I meant to say was a solid hour and a half to turn off your brain and not hate your life.

And now companies are cranking out sequels to remakes, trying to further differentiate themselves from the original and put their own “spin” on the characters. If the goal is just to put a new spin on established characters, why not just create your own characters? And by “their own spin,” unfortunately, these companies basically mean releasing films that are little more than thinly veiled snuff films with more exposed breasts.

Honestly, who needs genuine suspense and cathartic reaction when we can have shrieking strings let us know when the malevolent force is going to brutally murder someone with a tack hammer? Again. And Again. And Again.

Whether one is schadenfreude or simply looking to vent some inner frustrations, horror movies provide a healthy catharsis for everyday frustration. And when made correctly can stand the test of time and last as endearing pieces of cinema that lead us to explore the deepest thoughts that we house as fallible creatures and learn about the human condition.

Why make stunningly original pieces of work that will define this generation and last for decades to come when we can just homogenize the industry and pump out sequels Henry Ford style and make millions of dollars? Screw artistic integrity. Somebody did something right once, so the right thing to do would most likely be to emulate that formula for all of eternity.

This redundancy that is felt in cinema, which could quite possibly be the most influential art form ever created by man, could quite possibly be what leads to human race being put on the endangered species list. When we dumb down our art and skate by on being just good enough, we are committing a huge disservice to the integrity and intelligence that is exclusive to the human race.

Mindless entertainment is one thing, a good way to while away an afternoon and shut off your thoughts of the outside world. But when our entertainment is whittled down to its bare essence, that of drivel that takes us out of our world with little commentary, what does that say about those viewing it? And what happens in 2032, when all of our classic horror movies have already been remade? A “Valentine” remake where we pray to the ghost of Stanley Kubrick that David Boreanz is still alive to perform his cameo as the Literature teacher who seems to know a little too much about the murders? Do we remake “I Know What You Did Last Summer?” I sure hope Jennifer Love Hewitt’s boobs can hold up that long.