Instead of focusing on the NFL Combine and preparing himself for scouting interviews, the ghost of his dead girlfriend haunts all-american collegiate football player, Manti Te’o. Or so he thought. Due to poor fact checking and erroneous reporting, millions of Americans were led to believe that Te’o played through a season in which he lost his grandmother and girlfriend within hours of each other. Lennay Kekua, girlfriend, had been dating Te’o through phone and text since his freshman year at Notre Dame in 2009.
Just days after hearing he lost two of his loved ones he had his best game of the season so far. With 12 registered tackles and two pass deflections, he helped Notre Dame defeat Michigan State in a 20-3 rival victory.
Months passed and Notre Dame saw itself go from 20th ranked team to the number one overall seed. They earned themselves a trip to the BCS title game in large part due the efforts of Manti Te’o who was ranked the best defensive player in college football. After the Michigan State game, sports aficionados across the country were throwing Te’o’s name in the list of Heisman trophy candidates. While his play on the field was enough to garner interest for many collegiate awards, the death of his mother and girlfriend helped spark the lofty considerations that were needed to win the grand honor of the Heisman. In the end, Te’o was voted runner-up and lost the Heisman to Johnny “Football” Manziel of Texas A&M.
On Jan 7th, Notre Dame was defeated in dominating fashion by Alabama during the BCS title game that ended in a score of 42-14. An outstanding game from Te’o would not have necessarily equated to a Notre Dame victory, but it was obvious during the game that Te’o wasn’t playing like a Heisman candidate. He completely and repeatedly whiffed on tackles that a red-shirt freshman could make. He wasn’t disengaging from blocks like he ordinarily did and his body language wasn’t normal through most of the game. While most viewers thought that Te’o and Notre Dame’s defensive play was subpar due to Alabama’s two amazing running backs and their dominant offensive line, some came up with different theories in the weeks following the contest.
About a month before the championship game, Te’o had become aware that his entire relationship with his girlfriend, Lennay Kekua, had been a lie. Although a man named Ronaiah Tuiasosopo perpetrated the hoax, Te’o was not viewed as a normal victim. Many believe Tuiasosopo to be the perp but some argued that Manti was complicit in some way. Theories began to spread like wildfire. Was all of this hoopla created to help spark Heisman considerations? Maybe it was fabricated to assist in ultimately winning NCAA football’s most coveted award? After all, most Heisman winners are offensive players and even with Te’o’s excellent play on the field, it might not be enough for him to win the top award…unless he had an edge somehow. Even with some truth to the many assumptions, these theories were basically speculation.
We live in an Internet dominated society where we can order groceries with the click of a mouse and watch old Humphrey Bogart films on Netflix from our couch. Is it to hard to believe a four-year romance could survive with only the use of a cellphone and a keyboard? Maybe that’s hard to believe for more traditional people who prefer their movies and dinners, the old-fashioned way, no Skype or call-in involved.
A lot of people argue that no one could be so naïve and gullible that they would carry on such a long relationship without ever seeing the person face to face. How could you feel such strong emotions for a person that you have never kissed, hugged, or embraced in any way? The phenomena that Manti was involved in is referred to as “Catfish-ing” or “Catfish’. It has been going on since the good ol’ days of MySpace, or the archaic usage chat rooms.
Catfish is the name of a documentary involving a young man named Yaniv “Nev” Schulman In this documentary, Schulman builds a romantic relationship with a woman he met through Facebook. The woman, Angela, lies to Nev and manipulates him into thinking she was someone else.
ET contributor, Jarett Wielselman, writes “When live cod were shipped to Asia from North America, the fish’s inactivity in their tanks resulted in mushy flesh in the Asian markets. Eventually, the fishermen discovered that putting catfish in the tanks with the cod kept them active. Vince (Angela’s husband) feels that people like Angela are catfish, who keep other people active in life.”
Even after the documentary, people questioned the voracity of Schulman’s story. Yaniv had no edge to gain or major award he was interested in, yet people hold firm that no one could be so easily duped. People seem to forget that anyone can be anything behind a computer monitor. Preconceived notions strengthen the idea that “if you can’t see something, it isn’t there”. If that’s the case, how do we explain air? We can feel the wind against our skin but we can’t physically see it. So how do we know it exists? Deductive reasoning and science of course, but the point is you can’t judge something on face value.
We know what Manti Te’o potentially had to gain from this hoax and we assume that Ronaiah Tuiasosopo had nothing to gain other than bad publicity. Bad publicity may be good publicity but what if Tuiasosopo had other motives for this elaborate hoax? Maybe this relationship started out as just another innocent relationship with a few distortions behind the curtains.
Ronaiah recently went on Dr. Phil to explain his side of the situation. He told Dr. Phillip McGraw that Te’o played no part in the deception nor did he know Lennay Kekua, a young woman, was really Ronaiah, a young man. As far as Te’o knew, he was in love with a beautiful Polynesian woman who preached humility and benevolence. So what was Tuiasosopo’s deal?
After watching the interview, many disturbing things where revealed. When Dr. Phil asked about Ronaiah’s sexuality and he replied, “To tell you the truth, I’m so confused’.
During the interview, Tuiasosopo discussed his childhood and upbringing. He stated that he was raped and molested for years by family friends since he was 12 years old. He referred to those instances as his first sexual experiences. The pain he suffered was gruesome and non-relenting until well into adulthood. His father was away while he lived with his grandmother and aunts so he began to search for the lost affection, but men close to him took advantage of his loneliness and innocence.
“That angry child grew up to be an adult who is still empty and made horrible decisions and hurt people”, said Tuiasosopo.
Psychiatrist, Dr. Charles Sophy, was present during the interview with Dr. Phil to assist the troubled young man and to help offer insight into why Ronaiah chose to contact Te’o.
“Ronaiah felt that something inside of him was good and wanted to test it out”, said Dr. Sophy. “The mask known as Lennay Kekua would help him see that he is lovable.”
Tuiasosopo apologized repeatedly for his actions and stated that he never meant to hurt anyone. He spoke with candor and seemed very sincere in the discussion. Te’o, in his interview with Katie Couric, also seemed unaware of Ronaiah’s true motives. He appeared to be a great football player with the same emotional needs of the average person. A little naïve, and a little credulous for a 22 year old, but a lot of people have gone through similar situations. MTV help make a show of such situations.
Based on Yaniv Schulman’s documentary, “Catfish” shows other people who have been duped or made unaware of the person behind the screen claiming to be something they may or may not be. Frankly, it usually features people with low self-esteem who are too afraid to reveal their true selves.
The victim is generally an average person who got duped but sometimes that person shares a bond with the perpetrator. They too bare many emotional holes looking to fill their emptiness with the sympathy and affection of someone who thinks the world of them. An absentee father, an abusive drug addicted mother, or newly found sexual awareness are many issues that plague these people. Facebook just bridges the gap between loneliness and a speculative reality that people confuse with happiness.
In regards to the holes in Manti’s story, people must recognize the power of self-delusion. When joy is missing from your life you may eat, watch TV, or convince your self that love is in a computer screen. Even if it may divert you from physical reality, you may use a method of delusion to distract you from what’s truly missing.
Old timers should know that today about 1 in 5 relationships begin online so it can’t be all that bad! However, it can certainly turn bad, particularly when misinformation and low self-worth are added to the equation.
So was Ronaiah Tuiasosopo a scammer, a liar, or just someone who was looking for love the wrong way and in the wrong place?