Uproar Over ‘Lady Doritos’: Customers Demand PepsiCo Accommodate for Entire Gender Spectrum

Anna Fiorino, Features Editor

Corporate America is venturing into uncharted territory, leaving the era of non-binary snacks behind.

PepsiCo’s CEO Indra Nooyi revealed Doritos for Ladies on a “Freakonomics Radio” podcast interview. The idea for the line, she explained, was inspired by unsupported, outdated generalizations about women. “[Females] don’t like to crunch too loudly in public. And they don’t lick their fingers generously, and they don’t like to pour the little broken pieces and the flavor into their mouth,” said Nooyi. “We are looking at it, and we’re getting ready to launch a bunch of them soon.”

America’s 63 other gender identities are outraged. “Where are my chips?” asked an agender San Diego resident. The company is now facing pressure to expand their selection to include all genders. New Doritos will be engineered to suit each gender group’s stereotyped preferences.

According to an inside source, PepsiCo is in the process of developing a variety of new chip features: low residue, high residue, reduced crunch, no crunch, increased crunch, shaped like women, shaped like little golden retrievers, and some with only 83% of the normal male single-serving quantity. “Things got out of hand so quickly,” said the CEO, crying at her desk.

Consumers are also voicing concerns about the implications of having such a large selection of Dorito identities accessible. “What if I end up liking ‘gender-fluid-friendly Doritos’ better than ‘lady Doritos’? What the hell am I supposed to tell my kids then?”



**Disclaimer: Intended for entertainment purposes. Information presented in article is not accurate or complete.